Skip to content
  • HOME
  • THE DREAMER
    • CONTACT
  • DISCLOSURES
  • HOME
  • custom-logo
  • THE DREAMER
    • CONTACT
  • DISCLOSURES
Creativity

Criticism Hurts: How to Respond & How to Support Your Creative Friends

November 22, 2019November 22, 2019 Crystal // Dreams, etc. Post a comment
Criticism Hurts: How to Respond & How to Support Your Creative Friends

Criticism hurts. I understand that 100%. As a writer, I have faced criticism of my work. I have an English degree with an emphasis on creative writing and I have had to sit silently through in-person critiques, some of which went really well, and some of which left me somewhat frustrated. I’ve done the same in art classes. That’s the nature of creative work: we put a lot of time, effort, and yes, some of our heart and soul into the work we create. It resonates with some. It doesn’t resonate with others. We hear about both the good and the bad. And when we hear the bad, it hurts.

Last week there was some Twitter drama in the writing world. A well-established, much-loved author found an opinion about her work voiced in an article. She was hurt by what she read and shared a screenshot on Twitter. I’ll admit, I was a little surprised when I saw it shared publicly. But what surprised me even more was how her creative friends chose to support her: by putting down the person who shared the opinion, some using incredibly harsh and unnecessary words. And the situation snowballed: fans googled the article, found the person quoted online, and she has since shut down her social media accounts due to the harassment she faced. All because she voiced an opinion.

Yes, criticism hurts. But here’s the thing: it’s okay. People are allowed to not like our work. And they’re allowed to voice that opinion. We can’t control when or how or where they’ll voice an opinion, but they have the right to. The only thing we can control is how we respond.

When criticism comes…

reach out to your friends, but do so privately. This isn’t a message that needs to be broadcast to the world, especially in a world that’s so quick to react to something they disagree with in negative ways. Sometimes people think of creative endeavors as a solo experience, but they’re not. A few weeks ago my critique partner said the same thing: people think of writing as a solo activity, but it’s really one that has a community.

If you don’t have friends in your creative community, please find them. They’re the ones that truly know what it’s like and will be able to support and encourage you in the ways you need. And when you need to that support–like when you’re faced with criticism–please reach out to them. That’s what they’re there for.

When your creative friend is faced with criticism…

Focus on them. That’s what they need at that moment. Tell them how much you love their work. Tell them what you love about their work. Tell them why their work matters.

I truly believe that when you try to lift someone else up by putting someone else down, you’re doing them a disservice. When we ask for constructive criticism, that’s useful for our work. But if it’s just an opinion with nothing useful to help us grow… that’s the kind of thing we need to let go and leave behind us. When we’re carrying those words with us they’re a weight that will continue to slow us down and hinder us. They’ll continue to hurt. So move beyond those words. Focus on your friend.

What they need (what ANYONE needs) is to know that they are loved. That they are appreciated. That they matter.

Tell them that. Lift them up by actually lifting them up. Focus on them.

As a bonus, share your friend’s work on social media. You never know who might see it; maybe the person who needs to read their words or listen to their music at that time in their life.

If they’re really struggling, maybe send them a little money on Venmo to buy a fancy latte. After all, coffee fixes everything, doesn’t it? 😉 Okay, so maybe it doesn’t. But a surprise treat like that can be a bright spot in their day and reminds them that someone out there cares about them.

And that’s something we all need to be reminded of from time to time (or all the time), isn’t it?

HOW DO YOU HANDLE CRITICISM?

About Crystal

About Crystal

Hi! I'm Crystal, a millennial learning how to live slowly and sustainably, while still seeking adventure and following my dreams, etc.

Post navigation

#100DayProject // The Skies & Colors of May

Share Your Thoughts! Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

hi!

I'm Crystal, the storyteller behind Dreams, etc. I'm all about learning how to live slowly & sustainably, while also seeking adventure as we follow our dreams, etc.

May 2023. Savannah, Georgia. Lots of Mina. Lots of May 2023. Savannah, Georgia. Lots of Mina. Lots of new growth on plants.
The other day I realized that there is no Savannah The other day I realized that there is no Savannah on my feed and…well, Savannah is beautiful and needs to be there. These were taken in Lafayette Square on my second day in Georgia.
Picture it. It’s the day after Thanksgiving. I d Picture it. It’s the day after Thanksgiving. I didn’t go on my weekly dam walk earlier in the week when I was excited about it. On this day I was tired after a long week and my least favorite holiday. My bed was oh so comfortable. I forced myself to roll out of bed and journey to the dam. It was filled with people and I was pokey…taking my time to get there and even journeying down one of the other paths to avoid walking across the dam. (Which isn’t long.) I finally joined the crowd and walked across. And then came back, happy to have made my weekly journey. This is when the top layer of the water started to freeze.
From March: an old mini vlog from a bagpipe rock c From March: an old mini vlog from a bagpipe rock concert, which is mostly me trying the say bagpipe rock. Some word combinations are hard! 😂 There was a sign asking us not to film, which is why there’s no concert footage.
Some of my weekly dam walks have been therapeutic Some of my weekly dam walks have been therapeutic and while the walks haven’t fixed the problems, they’ve help me breathe and connect with the world and relieve stress. 💕
April 2023. We got more snow, but it also melted. April 2023. We got more snow, but it also melted. The dam was almost overflowing. The animals are beginning to emerge. Spring is here!
Happy Independent Bookstore Day! After a coffee st Happy Independent Bookstore Day! After a coffee stop (of course) a friend and I checks out two indie bookstores that we have never been to before. I definitely want to go back to Uncle Hugo’s and Uncle Edgar’s! Did you do anything for #independentbookstoreday

#indiebookstore #indiebookshop
After watching some shopping ASMR videos I had to After watching some shopping ASMR videos I had to try it.

#asmr #groceryshopping #groceryshop  #asmrvideos
I’m a little behind in weekly dam walk reels. Le I’m a little behind in weekly dam walk reels. Let’s go back to the third week in November when there was just a little snow on the ground and the footprints in the snow seemed notable.
See More Follow on Instagram

RECENT POSTS

  • Saying Goodbye to Crystal the Writer
  • The Day the Sorcerers Visited Baby Jesus
  • Thoughts on Hope
  • Christmas Playlist // 2022
  • Life Under Construction

CATEGORIES

  • Adventures (52)
  • Beauty (16)
  • Books (147)
  • Creativity (57)
  • Entertainment (18)
  • Life (224)
  • Uncategorized (539)
  • Wellness (8)

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?

Follow
  • Book Review Policy
  • BOOKS
  • Contact
  • DISCLOSURES
  • Insta Links
  • Seint Links
  • THE DREAMER
Copyright © 2023 | All Rights Reserved | © 2023. All text and photos belong to Crystal Brutlag, unless otherwise stated. Theme designed by Little Theme Shop: https://littlethemeshop.com

We are using cookies to give you the best experience on our website.

You can find out more about which cookies we are using or switch them off in settings.

Dreams, etc. // Minneapolis Lifestyle Blog
Powered by  GDPR Cookie Compliance
Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies so that we can provide you with the best user experience possible. Cookie information is stored in your browser and performs functions such as recognising you when you return to our website and helping our team to understand which sections of the website you find most interesting and useful.

Strictly Necessary Cookies

Strictly Necessary Cookie should be enabled at all times so that we can save your preferences for cookie settings.

If you disable this cookie, we will not be able to save your preferences. This means that every time you visit this website you will need to enable or disable cookies again.