“You are beautiful, kind, patient and creative.”
A coworker popped into my office one day to tell me this, then walked out the door. Another coworker was sitting with me and she said, “I used to think that was weird, but now I don’t.”
And I did too. I mean, let’s face it, how often does someone go out of their way to compliment another person?
How many times do you go out of your way to compliment someone?
I thought about this all day… and I was thinking about writing this blog post to put up this week…
And then it came up again that evening.
I’ve been attending a church group that’s going through a program to help women strengthen their leadership skills. That evening the topic was communication. We talked about how we can use our words to hurt others, but we can also use them to lift someone up.
At the beginning of the night, two women complimented one of the leaders and you could tell it made her evening. As we went through our discussion questions later, another woman said, “We don’t always tell people that we appreciate them enough and sometimes when someone compliments you, it comes right at the time you need to hear it. You never know when you might say something that someone else needs to hear. So why don’t we do that more?”
My coworker regularly goes out of her way to compliment everyone she works with–that’s why it’s no longer weird to us to hear it. But it doesn’t diminish the fact it always puts a smile on my face; it always gives me a little boost of self-confidence.
On that particular day I was pretty down on myself creatively. I was focused on how much I felt like I was failing as a creative. I hadn’t written enough, the words weren’t flowing freely enough, my writing wasn’t good enough… Am I really creative just because I say I’m creative? To have someone else tell me I’m creative gave me a little boost. (And this weekend I actually worked out a solution to one of the issues that was slowing me down in a story! 👊🏼)
Our words have power. They have the power to tear someone down, but they also have the power to build someone up. They have the power to give them a boost of confidence in different parts of their life.
My challenge to you (and to me!) is to compliment someone this. It might just be the boost they need.
Tell me about a time someone complimented you when you needed to hear it!
[Tweet “Our words have power… to tear someone down OR to build someone up.”]
[Tweet “Find an opportunity to compliment someone this week… it might be the boost they need!”]
We live in a world where words are typically used to tear people down, so you couldn’t be more spot-on with this…it’s so important to use words to build people up! I’ve been going through a really self-conscious phase recently, and one of my co-workers told me the other day that I always look really nice and put together. I wasn’t expecting it, and it certainly lightened my mood and helped me to be a bit nicer to myself. Wonderful post!
Yes, this is so important! A few kind words can totally turn someones day around.
Kindness can go a long way. Especially when there is nothing in it for you. You never know how you can make a difference in someone’s day.
So much yes. Such an easy thing can go such a long way!
Sometimes it’s hard for us to accept compliments because it’s not something most people go out of their way to do. However; it can make your day so much better! I try to compliment people when I can because it really can improve their day.
What a great idea! It’s amazing how just 1 compliment can really make your day. I will need to make this my mission for the week…! 🙂
Aww what a lovely idea this is <3 you're so right–it's often the smallest gestures that leave the biggest impact. I've tried to do this a bit more lately after seeing how much a server's face brightened when I complimented her earrings recently. We should all spread a little kindness <3 and I love that your coworker makes it a point to leave little compliments.
Xoxo and thanks for sharing, Crystal!
I am very sensitive to words — both negative and positive, so I try very hard to be positive in my interactions with others. I used to write notes to people I admire and I know that several of them were really surprised and appreciated the effort.
Not only do we hear the negative more than the positive, but we believe it too. Imagine a world where we spoke about the positive more than the negative, and we actually believed the positive things we hear about ourselves more than the negative. How great would that be?!
I’m just hitting one year at my job and it is amazing the difference in the environment. My last job was very stressful, mostly because the people that worked there were incredibly negative and constantly putting each other down. At my new job? Compliments all the times. And hugs. HUGS. And the weird thing is that the job I have now actually should be more stressful than the last one but because of the people I work with, it works out.
Being kind, and positive, and helping others should be what it’s all about. I’ve been trying to take care to do that, especially in my job where both coworkers and clients can be stressed out.
Tweeted your post!
I love your blog. Great post.
Great post!! I tell my daughter that everyday and every night before bed I tell her she is beautiful, kind, and intelligent. I know they say sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me, but I find that to be a lie sometimes words cut deeper than knifes. We all need to bring each other up and compliment each other when ever we can! Again great post!!
I love this post so much! I actually wrote a blog post about this topic recently, too – because unfortunately we experience and hold on to the ‘tearing down’ words more. But if we make a conscious effort to compliment and lift each other up, like your coworker, we can help to be the change! 🙂 Awesome job – keep up the great work!
-MG https://malissagreenwood.com
I’ve been trying really hard to do this type of thing especially at work. Sometimes everyone is so focused on their work that they sort of miss and don’t acknowledge what everyone does. It’s amazing what one little comment can do!
Love this 🙂
Also totally in love with the fact that your Church group is supporting women building leadership skills!
I am in a small group at church and we were just having this discussion. Words positive or negative can really change our day. We started a game where we would make sure to compliment at least 5 random people a day. Love having a positive impact on people
I always accept compliment S really awkwardly. Especially when they come to my looks since I have a pretty low self esteem. However, I’m always quick to say thank you because it was unexpected and put a smile on my face 🙂
I love this! It’s really not that hard to be kind to other people (especially other women!) and a connection is instantly made if we’re kind with each other. Thanks for sharing this!
Oh my gosh, this is oh so true! Over the past couple of months I’ve been really trying to improve and give more compliments. It does feel weird and it doesn’t seem like people care one way or the other what I think, but I do it anyway. Great post!